The last 2 months have been intensive. I finally handed in my thesis, and only about 1 1/2 weeks late. Which personally I think is quite impressive! Although, I honestly have never found anything so stressful.
Following a bit of a break down and a cry, the pressure just seemed so great and I just needed it all to be over. The last four weeks of work nearly broke me. Looking back on it now, I wonder why I put so much pressure on myself, but the end was getting nearer and nearer and yet I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel. It just seemed like the final weeks would just stretch on and on and on and on. Nothing would change and I would be stuck in the groundhog day of writing and writing, and stressing, and writing, and getting so entwined in everything that I almost couldn't breathe.
You would think that I would have had this magical moment upon my final hand in. However, I found the whole experience a complete anti-climax. I handed in a complete first draft, and waited a week for comments from my supervisors, before doing another weeks work and finally handing it in. Although at this point, I had found out that my viva couldn't be when I wanted and that I would have to wait 2 months before finally being able to close the door on the last 4 1/2 years. In fact, it will be 5 years almost to the day since I started this whole journey before I will finally hand in the hard copy of the final final final thesis. Dr. Watkins here I come, I hope.
Not only did I have to hand in my thesis, but I have also been furiously hunting for jobs. With a husband and a 2-year old to support I can't sit around and enjoy a nice long break, I need to get right back on the bandwagon and bring in some wages. Luckily, I was able to apply for 2 very good jobs during the last 2 months of my thesis, and scored 2 interviews that coincided nicely (or not) with the same week that I handed in my thesis. Considering I needed to prepare a 5 minute talk for each interview this only added to the stress of the whole experience.
I heard from the first interview within the week. Disappointment was only overshadowed with knowledge of the inevitable. I knew I wasn't going to get the job, after an interview that did not go well and I have to admit I was underprepared and did not show myself off in the best light. The second interview went much better (for the same organisation as the first) and I was pretty convinced that they would have to give me the job. 3 weeks later and I finally found out that I was again unlucky, only getting 1st reserve. This did not offer me the consolation I was looking for. I then spent the next 2 weeks getting more and more worried that I would be in the unemployed limbo forever, as no 2 more job applications didn't even land me an interview.
Still, 2 weeks to the day of getting the rejection from the second interview, I got an email saying that the job had become available and was mine if I wanted it! Thank goodness. Here was the relief and climatic finish I was looking for. I am still waiting to start (over a month after getting that email) but am hoping to hear this week about a start date.
So the last 5 years have not been for nothing. They have been some of the best years of my life and I have found lifelong friends. My research project has been an enjoyable experience, from which I have learned a lot and hopefully opened up the possibility of new applications of modelling for conservation benefits. Now I just need to work on editing a manuscript for publication before I can leave this period of life and move on to the next.
The joys of finally securing a job have now meant that I can enjoy my time off with my little girl and spend some quality summer time together before the reality of working life hits me with a vengeance. It could only be for another week, so I'm off to enjoy my summer.
I'll post back with updates on my viva and any possible publications. But for now, this is me signing off.
Good luck to those still working for your phd. There is an end!
